1. |
Falling Anyway
06:31
|
|||
|
No sense to wish for a difference
We will not wish upon a star to see by
It falls anyway
It falls anyway
Love fades to hate like the bruises
Red to green – don’t go away mad
Just go away
Just go away
Sharpen my pencil in the ashtray
Sharpen my nails between my teeth
Sharpen my wits in chaffing silence
But I couldn’t be more dull
No words to give me protection
No salves of comfort are passed in the end
The lie has the last say
Lies have the last say
Photos are burned to smoke and escape
A history is overturned out of a mind
Remember it anyway
Remember it anyway
Sharpen my pencil in the ashtray
Sharpen my nails between my teeth
Sharpen my wits in chaffing silence
But I couldn’t be more dull
What moves beneath the surface is hidden because it crawled there
Eyes shut they are open veins
Find a map to the heart because I could get lost here
Sharpen my pencil in the ashtray
Sharpen my nails between my teeth
Sharpen my wits in chaffing silence
But I couldn’t be more dull
You would wait through a drought
To throw the offer in my face
Smiles are cutting tools
Smiles are cutting tools
Find a shadow beneath the heart of this waste
Uncover my kiss like a jewel
Forgotten except for the stains
Except for the stains
Sharpen my pencil in the ashtray
Sharpen my nails between my teeth
Sharpen my wits in chaffing silence
But I couldn’t be more dull
|
||||
2. |
Fences
05:26
|
|||
|
I remember how we were together
Climbing each other’s fences
Our language was deceiving
We spent time in different places
Now I’ve got time to write songs about love
I’ve got time to write songs about love
A broken heart is a sad thing
And a beating heart is enough for some
PAIN IS A LUXURY, LOSS IS A LUXURY
IF IN THE END YOU
HEART IS STILL BEATING
PAIN IS A WEAPON, LOSS IS LIVING
IF THE BEATING IS ALL THERE IS
The words don’t cross over
Beating and breaking, needing and wanting
So close we think we are the same
So close we think we’re touching
But the closer you are to the truth
The closer you are to the lie
And the only way to tell them apart
Is that I’m alive to write songs about love
PAIN IS A LUXURY, LOSS IS A LUXURY
IF IN THE END YOU
HEART IS STILL BEATING
PAIN IS A WEAPON, LOSS IS LIVING
IF THE BEATING IS ALL THERE IS
AND MY WORDS WILL SEEM PETTY
AND THEIR WORDS WILL SEEM VICIOUS
WE WILL KNOW WE ARE NOT TOUCHING
WE WILL KNOW WE ARE NOT THE SAME
I remember how we were together
Climbing each other’s fences
Our language was deceiving
We spent time in different places
Now I’ve got time to write songs about love
I’ve got time to write songs about love
A broken heart is a sad thing
And a beating heart is enough for some
PAIN IS A LUXURY, LOSS IS A LUXURY
IF IN THE END YOU
HEART IS STILL BEATING
PAIN IS A WEAPON, LOSS IS LIVING
IF THE BEATING IS ALL THERE IS
|
||||
3. |
Social Sea
03:50
|
|||
|
Love songs playin on the radio
bring back faces I once knew
and places I don’t wanna go.
Day dreams occupy my time
A checkered life made easy
by the people in my mind.
I’m stranded…
I see the lovers holding hands in a dream.
They dance in the forest all night
Like fire through the trees.
And I see their faces, blank as a page.
And I know I’m just a voyeur there
watchin’ other fires rage.
I’M BURNING, I’M BURNING
I’M BURNING THE EMPTY PAGE
AND I’M DREAMING, I’M DREAMING
DREAMING OF AN EMPTY CAGE
Still I’m not crazy, just a bit confused
Everybody’s sending signals
I think I’m being used
All these voices crowding in my ears.
I’m losin’ myself in all the options
Why do they bring such fear?
I DON’T KNOW, I DON’T KNOW
I DON’T’ KNOW WHO I WANT TO BE
AND I’M DROWNING, I’M DROWNING
I’M DROWING IN THIS SOCIAL SEA
I’M STRANDED, I’M STRANDED
I’M STRANDED IN SOCIETY
AND I’M DROWNING, I’M DROWNING
I’M DROWING IN THE SOCIAL SEA.
|
||||
4. |
See Dick Run
02:43
|
|||
|
B
Sit up. Take notice. I’m the face of the 90s.
L
No Cover Girl afraid of the shinies.
B
Give it up. Pay your props. I don’t ask twice.
L
If I have to beg. I won’t be so nice.
B
Let me illuminate the nature of a sister.
L
Blow your stone age mind like a needle to a blister.
B
You boys 2 men are in need of some workin.
L
So don’t front like a square or circle like you’re jerkin.
B
You know where you are. We can hear you barking.
L
And we’re buying our own drinks while you’re still parking.
B
We can jump on a go go stage, stretch our backs out wide.
L
As if a babe can’t step without a man at her side.
B
As if…
B
You guys angle on a woman, cuz you think she smells sweet.
L
But if she don’t step to you, you call her used meat!
B
I don’t look for the guy with the cock-loaded swagger.
L
Or touch him with a pole, if I hear he’s a braggart.
B
I’m not local landfill for you to go dumping.
L
And my leg’s mine to stand on, not for you to go humping!
B
Humping?
B
Get off. Buy a clue. I’m the woman in CHARGE.
L
No fear. No man. No matter how LARGE!
B
No push. No pull. I won’t be your lever.
L
But I’ll let you talk to me, if you think you’re that clever.
B
I don’t shave my legs, but I do clean my plate.
L
And I can dish it out hot if you and me got a date.
Both
But if you don’t have a brain this might be too deep.
All you got is your dick and dick is CHEAP!
|
||||
5. |
Feral
03:55
|
|||
|
Unkept and still alive
Small with an appetite
Scavenger, carnivore
She always eats what she kills.
If you give to her, she may take,
But that doesn’t mean she trusts you.
She may sleep in your house
But she knows how to hunt,
She will leave you if you do not behave.
FERAL, FERAL
THE CAT IS SMALL WITH A COMPACT BRAIN.
THE CHOICE TO FEEL BETTER
IS CONTAINED IN EVOLUTION
AND SO SHE ALWAYS WILL.
She will eat and sleep and live
And then she will forget.
She will survive where bigger brains cannot.
She’s sensitive and skittish,
Resourceful and hungry.
But above all, smart enough
To choose the best of both worlds.
She does not get preoccupied.
Her brain has no ego.
She does not confuse shit with the ground
She will not sleep with it.
FERAL, FERAL
THE CAT IS SMALL WITH A COMPACT BRAIN.
THE CHOICE TO FEEL BETTER
IS CONTAINED IN EVOLUTION
AND SO SHE ALWAYS WILL
|
||||
6. |
Be With You (Live)
04:00
|
|||
|
There are no words, a picture.
I see us together.
And I wanna be-with-you.
So I guess I’ll live a little more
Another dream to kiss.
But I wanna be-with-you.
Still I don’t believe in Fate.
The beauty will never love the beast.
But I don’t care. I don’t wanna think.
I just want to make you happy.
And I wanna be-with-you.
Still I just want to love you.
And I’m sorry if it seems like I don’t care.
How can I when you never dream of me?
Why should I when you never dream of me?
But I still wanna be-with-you.
|
||||
7. |
Vicious Cycle
04:00
|
|||
|
Coming Soon
|
||||
8. |
Nomad
04:32
|
|||
|
Coming Soon
|
||||
9. |
Act of Love
05:10
|
|||
|
She’s got a story in her head
One of several lives being led
In my place
still your love
she’s a user
As a friend I want to open your eyes
Because you’re blind to her lies
He’s with her
While she’s with you
The role you play
Is as old as it’s cruel
Don’t let the act of love bind you
Keep you wits above water
I offer you my experience
Another lamb in line for the slaughter
I can’t convince you, you’re gone
You think she lives for you alone
I’ve seen the truth
Cast aside
A poor player
Entwined by her forked tongue
You sweeten her ear
And tell her
You love her
She sips from her beer
Don’t let the act of love blind you
Keep your wits above the drama
I offer you my experience
Another soul stripped by a charmer
And you let the act of love bind you
Now I know it’s too late
For prevention or remission
You dropped your defense of skepticism
Oh, what have you done…
|
||||
10. |
Unseen
05:30
|
|||
|
It seems like I can’t see in the dark anymore.
It tastes so clear, just like nothing at all.
The smell is from a memory.
And the echo, cold stone, far away is within.
And I can’t hear anything. I can’t hear any words.
I can not feel your touch.
And I just can’t see in the dark anymore.
I dream of a day when everything’s open,
but the love I feel for you is still all in my mind.
When the sword in the stone and the Superman doll are let go
I’ll need something more real than the darkness to hold and I do.
What do I want from you? I don’t think it’s asking much.
A glimpse of reality.
I just want to feel the light and see by your touch.
I remember the devils that came to my bed.
Haunting a tricycle the men in my head.
Taking me far away, far away far away,
and then they’re gone.
But I mourn for them anyway.
A Tear that they cannot shed.
A look through his eyes to see a loss that is killing me.
Leaving me lying there.
I’m mourning, I’m mourning,
I’m dead.
|
||||
11. |
Stronger
06:32
|
|||
|
Take another dream from your toy box little boy
See what another day will bring
But momma’s feeling sick again and daddy can’t be found
You’d like to play with someone but there’s no one around
Daddy can’t be found and there’s no one else around
You’ve seen death at your door
And you cried for peace to God
And you held with all your might
To the only life you knew
But you know I feel stronger every day
For every pain we’ve had to pay
As the child’s voice grows strong
Finding where the man belongs
Take another girl from your dream box little man
I wonder if she’d like to play with you
But you know she’s afraid of men, get used to your new role
Convicted by the memories to pay the toll
Get used to your new role and pay the fucking toll
You’ve seen death at your door
And you cried for peace to God
And you held with all your might
To the only life you knew
But you know I feel stronger every day
For every pain we’ve had to pay
As the child’s voice grows strong
Finding where the man belongs
Take another book down from the shelf now as a man
Trying to prove I’m worth the blood they shed
To prove the point would prove them wrong, nothing left to see
I’ve grown in spite of all the pain and shit they laid on me
Nothing left to see: it’s worth it to be free
You’ve seen death at your door
And you cried for peace to God
And you held with all your might
To the only life you knew
But you know I feel stronger every day
For every pain we’ve had to pay
As the child’s voice grows strong
Finding where the man belongs
|
||||
12. |
Alive Inside
06:37
|
|||
|
Never gave me language
Never gave me love
Never gave me what I need
When it comes to push and shove
Terrified by contact
Dreading every touch
Sick of all the convolutions
And the narcissistic crutch
I tantalize the borders
Probe the tender fears
Cut away the atrophy
And sew the wounded years
Conditioned by the lessons
The proper way to play
But all I learned is open wings
Get cut off anyway
I’M ALIVE – INSIDE
BUT I CAN’T BE MYSELF
AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO
DO
AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO
SAY
I CAN’T TELL YOU WHAT I
WANT TO
YOU WOULDN’T LIKE IT
I’D PROBABLY BRING YOU
DOWN.
There are more essential features
On the landscape of my character than
SEX
Than GENDER
Than anything you can see
Never gave me language
Never gave me love
But I have everything I need
When it comes to push and shove
Apologetic fathers
Bleeding loving boys
When I can’t feel the bottom any more
These are the simple joys
Alarmingly disarming
My voice cracks with glee
We sang a song to our long lives
And I knew you hated me
Underneath the layers of warmth
An open smile
Broods the laughing heretic
Alone at Bright Defile
I’M ALIVE – INSIDE
BUT I CAN’T BE MYSELF
AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO
AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY
I JUST CAN’T BE
AS SMALL AS YOU WANT ME
I KNOW YOU HATE ME
‘CAUSE I’M ALWAYS WAY TOO HIGH
<fade up, growing louder>
letmeout. letmeout.
Let me out. Let me out.
LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!
OR I’LL PULL YOU IN!
Alarmingly disarming
Today we meet again
Every time I look at you
I strain to keep me in
Can’t show you how I love you
Or lose the reins of fear
I turn away, turn away
Can’t ever let you hear
When I turn from you in silence
That’s the way I scream ‘cause
The injunction to shut the fuck up
Is far less than it seems
I only play with madness
It’s where the answer lies
But every time I turn from you
It’s another one of me who dies
BUT I’M ALIVE – INSIDE
BUT I CAN’T BE MYSELF
AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO
AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY
I CAN’T TELL YOU WHAT I WANT TO
YOU WOULDN’T LIKE IT
I’D PROBABLY BRING YOU DOWN.
Surely there are more important Themes
In the drama of our togetherness than
TOUCHING
And FEELING
But I want to and I can’t move you anywhere.
My Injunction to Silence is Illusionary.
My Injunction to Silence is a Dream.
My Injunction to Silence is a figment of my
Imagination.
MY INJUNCTION TO SILENCE IS A LIE!!
|
||||
13. |
End of the Day
04:20
|
|||
|
Sometimes I know when it’s time to go
Sometimes I know when it’s time to stay
Sometimes I know what I see is real
as I watch it slip away
Sometimes I see the clouds in the distance
And I can walk the other way
Sometimes I walk right into the sun
But sometimes the sun doesn’t end the day
And I can see and hear it all
And I can smell and feel it all
And I can taste the sweat on my lip
But it’s not me that’s moving at all
Sometimes I know when it’s time to run
Sometimes I know when it’s time to crawl
Sometimes I see those clouds in the distance
And I run to catch them all
Sometimes my hands are not my own
Even to reach up for the sky
Sometimes their all I have that’s mine
And they hold me when I cry
Sometimes I see the clouds in the distance
And I can walk the other way
Sometimes I walk right into the sun
But sometimes the sun doesn’t end the day
Sometimes the sun doesn’t end the day
Sometimes the sun doesn’t end the day
|
||||
Bry Hitchcock California
Music lover and sometimes creator since the 1980s. I played guitar with Head Circus during the mid 90s in Santa Cruz, CA. I've played in coffee shops, bars, and nightclubs, but never made it into a pro studio. Now recording at home again and back in the groove. ... more
If you like Head Circus: The October Tapes, you may also like:
The experimental UK artist's latest album is decidedly genre-agnostic.
go to album
featured on Bandcamp Radio Nov 1, 2016
go to album
This NYC quartet channels the anxious, experimental nature of late '90s-early '00s Olympia indie rock in their tense, rhythmic post-punk.
go to album
The Architect of the Ruin
by Toad the Wet Sprocket
Long-running 4-piece, who were early Bandcamp adopters, return to their ’90s melodic, alt-rock form.
go to album
Crunchy hard rock from Copenhagen with copious killer riffs and the rugged sensibility of Motörhead.
go to album
Boston post-punk outfit Junk Ranchers broke up in 1986 before this, their debut album, was released; darkly melodic, it's a long-lost gem.
go to album
MMishering Light
by Balkan Falcon
Anxious, nervy power-pop with slivers of math rock from Baltimore indie stalwarts.
go to album
